So… how’s your State? Right now?
If you don’t know what I mean by that, go here. If you do, then you’ve been playing with it and have begun to wake up a new sort of State Self-Awareness. Awesome. You’ve begun to…
Monitor and observe yourself. You probably noticed that your States are much more specific than “good” or “bad” when you really paid attention to them, right? You also noticed that your State can change in an instant from any number of triggers around you, some in the direction you want to go, others not. Which led to…
Pay close attention to WHAT, WHO and WHEN your States are vulnerable. Was it certain people who trigger a certain State for you every time? In a good or bad way? Did you find certain topics that do it? I’m positive you found that certain times of day trigger specific States for you. Did you get all the way to songs, places or smells as anchors for you? How about those curveball situations that just wrenched your State in some direction you weren’t expecting? More to come soon, as always.
So, now you’re ready for the next part:
Getting deliberate about setting your own State in the moment and strategically- This is the satisfying part.
Why it matters…
State affects everything and everyone.
Attention, learning, and performance are completely State dependent. In other words, the performance you’re able to bring completely depends on the State you’re in. Think about a recent great day, great presentation, great meeting, great conversation. Now think about the State that you were in at the time. It was probably focused, fired up, into it, engaged… a very particular State on your “top 5 productive States” list, right? Now imagine that same experience, but having it in an unproductive State like tired, irritated, or distracted. Way different, right?
Here’s the difference between the masses and those people who go beyond to influence, lead with impact and outperform…
Those superstars intentionally choose their State rather than letting their State control them. An NBA player would never step onto the basketball court without getting his State locked in first. So why would you do so on the court of your life (I’d argue that you actually have more at stake than he does)?
States are contagious.
More specifically, YOUR State affects everything for you and everyone around you. Always. And if you’re in a leadership position or close partnership, it’s even more important and more magnified than for anybody else, because whatever your State, it’s setting the State for everybody else the second you walk in the door. We’ve all noticed this before. You’re in an okay “mood”, maybe even a great mood (more accurately called State). The boss (or partner, or family member) walks in and is in some kind of a grouchy, snappy, salty State. Immediately everybody else’s State is affected by that, right? Ever notice how when you’re in a bad mood (State), everyone in your world seems extra-irritating and whiny? Not an accident. Unfortunately (or not) most of us are victims of another’s state, and usually the person with the strongest state wins, in that it spreads to others. More on this next time, but meanwhile…
You can accidentally contaminate or intentionally elevate.
You can (and do) contaminate somebody else’s creative blissful State with your irritated, pessimistic one just by being around them while in that State, and vice versa. You can also elevate somebody who is in a depressed, isolated State to engaged, inspired and connected with your State alone. The question is this, how mindful are you about this, how intentional are you about it and how could you change that at any given moment?
In my coaching experience, I’ve seen that every manager or leader I’ve seen who has star performers consistently over time, are the same managers or leaders who are consciously using this particular tool called State Management every day, every moment, every interaction. Here’s how…
Most people are victims of their own State. It’s 10am and they’ve already given up, saying, “Yeah, it’s just going to be one of those days.” Wow. Stuff happens around us all of the time that messes with us mentally, emotionally and physically. The question is… how are you going to respond to it in a way that keeps you solid? Maybe you only got a few hours of sleep last night or are coming from a particularly rough conversation just now. So what? Don’t let that determine your State or set it for the day. Choose it.
People are watching you, they’re listening. They’re getting vibes from you. They are choosing their own State and responding to yours all day every day, in the moment. You’ve already been messing with a few ITM (In The Moment) State changes as you noticed your triggers, so now you can get more deliberate in choosing how to set your State well.
So, when you’re in a great State, when you are on top of the world, what’s really happening?
Remember that Mental, Emotional and Physical are all interconnected ALL the time. Something triggered one, and they all changed. It’s not possible to change one without messing with them all somehow. So it makes sense then, that to change your State to one you want to be in, change one of the three parts. PInpoint an awesome State you know is great for you. Now let’s break down its parts:
Mental: What thoughts you’re having- what images, ideas, sounds you’re focusing on.
Emotional: What emotions you’re feeling.
Physical: What’s happening in your physiology- in position, breathing, movement and expression.
So to choose and change/set your State, pick one of those ways into it, or several to make it more potent. Depending on how strong your current State is (like the one you’re trying to change out of) some methods will work faster/easier than others.
- Think about a time when you were totally successful (mental)
- Listen to specific music (relaxing music to calm down, upbeat music to get energy, favorite song to get psyched… (mental)
- Have someone tell you a joke (emotional)
- Look at a picture of a favorite person (emotional)
- Read an inspirational quote (mental)
- Go for a walk or quick jog around the building (physical)
- Splash cold water on your face (physical)
- Re-read a great note, card or email someone gave you which put you in a great State (emotional)
- Drink lots of water (gets more fluid in system, brain operates more clearly) (physical)
- High-5 someone (physical)
- Look at something in nature (like a cloud passing in the sky) for a few minutes solid. (mental)
- Drink caffeine (physical)
- Ask someone in your immediate space to tell you their favorite thing about one of their friends/kids/you (mental)
- Stand up and stretch (physical)
- Recall a time you felt completely loved and accepted by someone (emotional)
- Do some jumping jacks (physical)
- Get something to eat with extra protein, light on the starches. Protein gives you more brainpower, starches make your brain tired. (physical)
- Visualize yourself nailing whatever then next challenge is all the way through to the celebration at the end. (mental)
When in doubt, remember- physical is the fastest to manipulate easily. Despite the war you may be having in your head, you can still force yourself to do something physical pretty quickly. Move your body, and your State will follow.
Make your own list.
Take what I’ve given you here, and add on to it. The State changes that will work best for you are the ones you create and tweak to perfection yourself by doing and doing again. Then get your complete list onto your phone or your wall or somewhere you can see and access it easily (because the moments you really need a State change are the ones where you can’t think of one to save your life).
You should now have a new awareness of your State, and soon you’ll also have a new muscle of State Management to flex in response to your world, moment to moment. Awesome. Aaaand…
The power of State in your performance, influence and accomplishment will come in the way you also use State strategically. Covey taught us to “start with the end in mind” and that everything’s created twice- first in your head, then a second time in real life. Most interpret this as planning it all out in actions and approaches… without ever considering the power of State.. a huge miss. We can and have watched two leaders execute identical brilliant plans, and get wildly different results. Often it comes down to State, and which leader’s in the most effective State to set their own performance, focus and contagious attention the right way, as they model and lead it.
So, map out your State strategically into the plan. What State will you want to be in as you ideate with the team? As you work with that one person whose ideas you love but pushes your buttons? As you crank out all the content and plan, heads-down? As you pitch to your potentials? As you facilitate the stakeholders? As you go into that one week which you know even now will test you with multiple demands? As you call out and celebrate the wins of the team with them even though you’ll want to be further along? Every one of these will need you to be in a different State to guarantee its ease and success. Choose them proactively and intentionally.
And then there’s the rest of your team, and their State. You can directly move that, too. Next, in Part 3…